Note to self: Unless your goal is to provide your eight-year-old with a healthy dose of morning hilarity, it is not advisable to slather your poor dried-up feet with lotion immediately prior to slipping on your wedge-heeled sandals. Yes, it is important to hydrate those tootsies so that they won’t look nasty in said sandals, but let’s just do that at bed time from now on, ‘kay?

Why is this inadvisable exactly? Well, self, just so you won’t forget, those lovely wedge heels that look kind of dressy but are quite comfy and slip on quickly and support your foot with nary a wobble, when slipped onto a well-lubricated foot become a luge through which said well-lubed tootsie slips, with the apparent goal of wearing it around the ankle. Now try walking. Mm hmm.

You’re welcome, Sierra. I’m glad you had so much fun seeing mommy off to work this morning.