July 2008


“If you shoot me, I’ll put you on the naughty list.”

Don’t you just love seven year olds?

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In the car last night, our 7 year old announces “Sierra’s got a boy toy!”

David and I grinned at each other, and he said “Now that’s something I didn’t expect to hear for at least another ten years.”

Yesterday, from the time I set some sluggish brain cells in motion with an extra-strong morning dose of hot chocaloffee*, I had the following jive on autoloop underlying everything I did for the rest of the day:

"What's that? A hat? A crazy funky junky hat?
Overslept? Hair unsightly? Tryin' to look like Keira Knightly?
We've been there, we've done that, we see right through your funky hat."

Okay, I see that you’re not truly feeling my pain. Click this link at your own peril.

Warning: The link contains not one or two, not three, but FOUR repetitions of the soundtrack to my personal hell, courtesy of the Disney Channel, who brings us The Wizards of Waverly Place.

When I decided to torture a former coworker who was on Messenger with that link, I think his comment pretty much nailed it. “Wow. Just… wow.”

*Hot chocaloffee: a special concoction I treat myself to many mornings, known in some places as mocha, but mine’s better. I dump a nice little mountain of really strong dark coffee, like Seattle’s Best 6th Avenue Bistro blend, in the filter, add water, and turn on the coffeemaker. While that’s brewing, I put a little milk in the bottom of my big coffee cup with the snowman on it (I’m not certain, but I think the snowman is essential to the hot chocaloffee experience) and add two tibbles^ of rich, chocolately Ovaltine. (Can’t you just hear that unctuous voice in the ad?) I pop this in the microwave for 30 seconds to take the chill off, and by the time it’s done, the coffee pot has just enough of that deliciously thick, strong, dark part of the coffee to fill my cup. Ah, bliss. And as an added bonus, it leaves the rest of the pot wimpy enough for Cabana Boy.

^Tibble: a tablespoon, as pronounced by me and my mom when I was a kid reading off recipe abbreviations like TBL and TSP. So of course a teaspoon is a tisp.

I love Barack Obama more with every word that comes out of his mouth!

In case you didn’t see it, here’s a link to his speech in Berlin on youtube. (It’s in three parts because of their ten-minute limit.) If you listen to him, he will give you goose bumps at least once. He doesn’t speak political mumbo-jumbo either, and he doesn’t consult a script ever. He speaks from the heart and with intelligence.

After these endless years of good ol’ boy bumbling and idiocy (with undertones of evil), Obama is so refreshing. He’s so honest and earnest–he reminds me of old films of John F. Kennedy, from back in the days before speech writers became obsessed with polls. Obama gives me hope that our world can be better. Is it November yet?

Better yet, is it January 20th yet?

Well, exactly a week ago, I was sitting in the playshop tent at the All Good Festival deciding whether I was ready to hike back to the RV. I was supposed to be teaching a Kundalini yoga class, but a morning rain combined with a four a.m. ending of the Dark Star Orchestra set the night before saw a lot of people thinking more about packing for the trip home than hiking back up to the village to do yoga in the steamy heat. I was happy with that situation. Cabana Boy and I had gotten back to our RV to the accompaniment of birdsong, so just showing up at the playshop tent at noon was about all I had left in me. It was a pretty good deal for me, teaching one yoga class and showing up to teach a second one in exchange for a free weekend pass plus early entry. Come to think of it, that was nearly $200 bucks for an hour and a half of actual work. Nice!

This year, Keller Williams was my favorite show. Instead of doing his usual one man show using looping, he plays with a different band every year at the All Good. Last year we got to hear bluegrass Keller, which was fun, and this year it was more of a rock band Keller, which was a blast. We have one of his DVDs, Sight, and he’s just such a likeable dude that he could do just about anything and we’d love him.

We usually discover some new band there, and this year was no exception. The most interesting band we saw had to be All Mighty Senators. They played on the Magic Hat stage, which is the thing that makes the All Good so much better than the bigger festivals. More on that later. The thing about All Mighty Senators, aside from musical talent, was that they were so much FUN! Their lead singer drew the audience into their groove, and was totally into the All Good spirit of things with his fuschia silk pajamas, huge white-framed sunglasses, black fedora, and at the end, showed us he was ready for the pajama party by shrugging into his Sponge Bob back pack. I have no idea what songs they did, but they were all fun and drew people in. A lot of us were just hanging out after the Grace Potter & the Nocturnals show, and some were waiting for Medeski Scofield Martin & Wood, but I think all of us had a good time.

Grace Potter was strong and soulful, as usual, but this time she showed her temper too. She was in the middle of pouring her heart out into an a capella song when a stage tech on the Magic Hat stage decided to do a sound check on the drums that went on and on and ON, to the point that half the audience was looking over there, distracted. Grace sang louder and harder, but still the drums kept on, and not even in rhythm with what she was doing. She finally punctuated her song with a mighty hurl of her tambourine in the general direction of the Magic Hat stage that had the audience roaring in support. Someone must have stopped the clueless stage tech at that point, but Grace stayed angry (naturally) through the end of the song, which was Nothing But the Water. She apparently hadn’t gotten past it yet though, because she had her whole band join their drummer in “our own drum solo.” That was kinda fun, but she never did seem to let it go, which is what the All Good Festival is all about. Anger really has no place there, which is why we love it so much.

Peace, love, and hippie stuff.

Well, I could write for a week about the All Good, but I’ve got a bored daughter with no one to play with, so I’m going to play. To be continued…

This is pasted from messenger with permission from “friend.”

friend says: last night, i had a very wierd pulsing pain

friend says: on the left hand side

kim says: where?

friend says: justright undermy ribcage

kim says: hmm

friend says: it was like really wierd

friend says: its a lil sharp but not unbearable

friend says: it stayed for 30 secs then went away

kim says: could be just a gas bubble making its way through

friend says: and then it cme back later on in the night

friend says: and stayed for 30 secs

friend says: an then in the midle of the night

friend says: i had lots of tea last nite

friend says: i sually dont drink that much

kim says: did you eat something different from usual?

friend says: yea i am on a very heavey protien diet for the last week

kim says: did you eat tomatoes from florida or mexico?

friend says: nooo i had tea before that i usually have less than half a cup

friend says: last nite i had a FULL CUP

friend says: ahahahaah

friend says: i hv given up on toamtoes

friend says: i didn’ even serve any in my barbeque

friend says: i thought aout that

friend says: what does samonella do

kim says: i guess it’s only three types from florida and mexico: roma, plum, and red round

friend says: i am notsure of hte symptoms

friend says: we always bring roma

kim says: i think it makes you barf–a lot

friend says: i was nauseated

friend says: during the evening

friend says: i wanted to throw up

friend says: i dind’t feel good all evening

kim says: well, if you changed your diet to high protein, you body could be saying “hey, wtf are you doing??”

friend says: i felt better in the morning and now its all good an dno pains allday

friend says: cuz be

friend says: all i’ve been eating is chicken

friend says: and beans

friend says: chicken and beans

friend says: THAT’S IT

kim says: i wouldn’t worry unless it happens a lot

friend says: i dont feel a tumor or anything like that

kim says: wait a minute–beans?

friend says: yes

friend says: LOTS AND LOTS OF BEANS

friend says: we had a barbeque

kim says: as in beans, beans, the musical fruit?

friend says: and we cooked beans

friend says: accidentaly the whole pack

friend says: and now we are stuck

friend says: we have been eating beans every nite for the past few dyas

friend says: BOWLS FULL OF BEANS

friend says: the small kidney beans :

kim says: and so you’ve been evah so polite dahhhling, and not farting in front of your spouse or coworkers

friend says: I AM TRYINGGGGGGGGG NOT TO

friend says: BUT MY SPOUSE IS SICK AND TIRED OF ME

friend says: I CAN’T STOP FARTINGGGGGGGGGGG

kim says: oh yeah, your body’s trying to deal with all that gas, so you’re getting gas pains

kim says: lol

friend says: But not to gorss u out. i have always been a MAN in this

kim says: there’s a product called beano

kim says: lmao!

friend says: my hubby just cannotttttttt

friend says: and i cannot stop

friend says: i produce more gas than normal ppl

kim says: if you must eat more beans, take some beano first

friend says: but prob the beans are causing more gas

friend says: the musical fruit

kim says: it’ll break down the sugars in the beans that cause the gas

kim says: BEANO

friend says: AHAHAHAH

friend says: OHHH

kim says: oh, you hadn’t heard that little song before?

kim says: my kids love it! the full version is:

kim says: beans, beans, the musical fruit

kim says: the more you eat, the more you toot

friend says: AHAHAHAAH

friend says: really

kim says: the more you toot, the better you feel

friend says: dude i never heard that

kim says: so let’s eat beans for every meal!

friend says: i was so woried

friend says: it was like a 30 sec pulsating pain

kim says: yeah, that’s gas chickie

friend says: happend 3 times last nite

friend says: i wasa like its time for me to leave the world

friend says: so soon

friend says: and iv been reading about it all dya

kim says: lol, after eating that many beans, i’m surprised the blanket didn’t go airborne!

friend says: tyring to figure out my symptoms

friend says: and all of em end up with cancer

friend says: llol

kim says: you must’ve been trying really hard not to make your hubby sick!

friend says: if it was something bad the pain wudn’t go away right?

kim says: right

kim says: yeah, before you freak, always think about recent changes and how they might be affecting your body

friend says: all the websites are saying pain in the left upper abdomen is uncommon

kim says: google gas pains

friend says: i am like S*I*

kim says: lol!

friend says: lol

friend says: thanks

friend says: i feeel alot better

kim says: http://www.beanogas.com/

friend says: no i dont think i am doin anything for my hubby

friend says: i am doing a favor to my colleges

kim says: lol!

friend says: by not rippping one here

friend says: we have sooooooooo many meetings here

friend says: ITS CRAZINESSS

kim says: omg, i’m lmao!!!

friend says: ok so all beans do that

friend says: even the blackeyed

kim says: i’m just picturing how professional you are and feminine and well dressed, rippin a huge one in a meeting

friend says: AHAHAHA

friend says: OMG. these ppl are like really up class.. its not the laid back env

friend says: it wud be a disaster if i ripped one

kim says: lol

friend says: what does jabbing mean

kim says: jabbing=poking

kim says: like jabbing with a finger or a stick

kim says: or a needle *shudder*

friend says: THAT’SSSSSSSSS EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS

friend says: NOT UN BEARABLE

friend says: BUT SHARP

friend says: AND PULSE KIND OF

kim says: yay! you’re not dying!

friend says: THANK GOD

kim says: i’m sorry, but i’m still LOL!

friend says: heheehe

friend says: we have small cubicles

friend says: so i hv to laugh in my heart

friend says: if someon sees me smiling i’ll hv to explain

kim says: yeah, i’m trying hard to repress it

friend says: so fart is actually called flatus

friend says: that’s a nice word

kim says: but those giggles keep bubbling up…. like gas! whaaaaaaaaahahahhaha!!!

kim says: or flatulence

friend says: I JUST FLATUCED

kim says: LOL!

kim says: omg, i need to go smoke so i can let the giggles out into the free air

My dad was passing some Popular Science magazines on to my brother, and mentioned that he used to pass them along to me, but I hadn’t been reading them recently. Mom explained that it was because I accidentally checked too many books out of the library. (I go a little nuts on their Author Search thing online, and put way too many in my bookbag–I got like 20 from all over the city, completely forgetting that they are super-efficient and that they’d all be waiting for me within 48 hours. Also, Elizabeth George writes realllllllly long books! And incidentally, Christoper Moore writes really hilarious books that can be devoured much more quickly.)

Mom: “So she’s got all these books and wants to finish them before she reads any magazines.”

Robbie: “Well, she finished the internet…”

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