Yesterday, from the time I set some sluggish brain cells in motion with an extra-strong morning dose of hot chocaloffee*, I had the following jive on autoloop underlying everything I did for the rest of the day:

"What's that? A hat? A crazy funky junky hat?
Overslept? Hair unsightly? Tryin' to look like Keira Knightly?
We've been there, we've done that, we see right through your funky hat."

Okay, I see that you’re not truly feeling my pain. Click this link at your own peril.

Warning: The link contains not one or two, not three, but FOUR repetitions of the soundtrack to my personal hell, courtesy of the Disney Channel, who brings us The Wizards of Waverly Place.

When I decided to torture a former coworker who was on Messenger with that link, I think his comment pretty much nailed it. “Wow. Just… wow.”

*Hot chocaloffee: a special concoction I treat myself to many mornings, known in some places as mocha, but mine’s better. I dump a nice little mountain of really strong dark coffee, like Seattle’s Best 6th Avenue Bistro blend, in the filter, add water, and turn on the coffeemaker. While that’s brewing, I put a little milk in the bottom of my big coffee cup with the snowman on it (I’m not certain, but I think the snowman is essential to the hot chocaloffee experience) and add two tibbles^ of rich, chocolately Ovaltine. (Can’t you just hear that unctuous voice in the ad?) I pop this in the microwave for 30 seconds to take the chill off, and by the time it’s done, the coffee pot has just enough of that deliciously thick, strong, dark part of the coffee to fill my cup. Ah, bliss. And as an added bonus, it leaves the rest of the pot wimpy enough for Cabana Boy.

^Tibble: a tablespoon, as pronounced by me and my mom when I was a kid reading off recipe abbreviations like TBL and TSP. So of course a teaspoon is a tisp.